


like good friends do

by Anonymous



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Depressed Zuko (Avatar), Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Not Beta Read, Pain, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28256574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: It's been over a year she's been trying to help him.
Relationships: Katara & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13
Collections: Anonymous





	like good friends do

It happened late at night.

Something like 11PM, really- Katara had been starting a good habit of getting to bed at a relatively decent hour. She'd never had much trouble sleeping, discounting the nightmares after...

Well. That wasn't important now.

Anyway, she'd just been cozying down in bed, pulling out her phone to wear out her eyes with idle phone-scrolling till she felt tired enough to sleep, when she noticed that little unread notification at the top of the screen.

_Zuko 11:05_

_I think I'm gonna do it_

Welp, there goes sleeping.

Katara sat up in an instant, tapping out a message at lightspeed before her friend could even think about going any further, please just send already-

_Katara 11:16_

_please don't_

Katara sighed out as it delivered after what felt like many more seconds than there actually were, only to immediately tense up again. _No, no, bad friend- he needs more support than that. He needs to_ ~~_think_~~ _know you care about him._ Katara types out a few more.

_Katara 11:16_

_seriously don't_

_i'm here_

_are you still there?_

Katara looks at her replies again. Stupid, stupid- she didn't even bother with proper capitalization? What kind of friend is she, if she can't even care that much? But then, would proper punctuation seem too formal, too detached- that wouldn't show much consideration, would it? God, she didn't even bother to take her phone off silent, even though she _knew_ Zuko wasn't doing well, why isn't she feeling more scared _anything_ could have happened in how long she took to reply does Zuko think she's given up on him-

_Zuko 11:19_

_I want to_

Katara snapped back into typing.

_Katara 11:19_

_things will get better i swear_

...and was promptly thrown back into anxious waiting. Or was it anxious? She didn't feel nearly as scared as she thought she should. In fact, the first feeling she had when she gave up on sleep wasn't terror for her best friend's life, it was-

God.

Can she even say it?

She's a fucking monster. Why doesn't she care more? Why isn't she shaking, or crying, or _anything?_ Why is she just sitting there, texting as if it's just a regular everyday conversation? Maybe she's not smiling, and maybe she doesn't feel _good,_ but jesus _christ,_ right?

_Zuko 11:20_

_I just want love_

_Nobody cares_

~~_Jesus christ. Fucking hell. What an attention whore, huh?_ ~~ ~~_No one says that crap seriously_ ~~

_Katara 11:20_

_i am right here_

_i care_

_for the love of god i care_

Katara cringes hard ~~internally, not externally like she would if she really fucking cared-~~. What the fuck is wrong with her? Zuko just needs _help_ , not the only person he can count on being a fucking asshole. What if he picks up on the snark and is sent spiraling again? What if this is what does it? What if he actually does it and it's all her fault? ~~Because what matters most is her own emotional state after the fact, of course, not the loss of his life or anything-~~

_Zuko 11:21_

_Can I come over this weekend?_

_Please lemme come over_

_I need you_

Katara feels that same horrible, disgusting feeling start to surface again. This weekend? She has a _family reunion_ this _Friday_. Zuko _knows_ this. She was supposed to be ha ~~ving _fun_ this weekend, not playing therapist for her mentally unsta- ~~

No. She'll fucking deal. Her friend needs _help._ It's not like Katara has any of her own problems to deal with- certainly not on the hellish level Zuko does.

She doesn't even have to do anything special. Just spend some time with him, just a day to keep him from the fucking edge. It doesn't matter if that was supposed to be one of the happiest weekends of her life or anything. Not like the entire experience of seeing her dad for the first time in _years_ gonna be completely soured or anything. It doesn't matter, because that's not a _real_ problem. She doesn't _have_ real problems.

At least she's not on the verge of killing herself every other week.

~~Don't mind the times she's thought longingly about the knives in the kitchen and how easy it would be to slit her wrists just to get out of fucking _homework_ . That's such a stupid, bullshit reason, when people with as shitty lives as Zuko can handle that crap without a problem. Besides, she looked it up- simple suicidal ideation doesn't mean she's at risk, or even depressed. She's never even cut herself, after all. ~~

~~Honestly, who's the _real_ attention whore? ~~

Katara types out the only realistic response she can.

_Katara 11:22_

_it's possible_

_i'll see if i can work something out_

She thinks a bit more. No, he'll need more positivity than that- can't let him think she doesn't care.

_Katara 11:22_

_you can definitely come during the week after_

Or does that too strongly imply the 'no' on the weekend? Will that be enough?

_Zuko 11:23_

_Okie_

Katara sank down into the sheets. _Thank god, that's probably it for the night._ As if that's something actual, real friends think about people they _care_ about. And as if she didn't just agree to sacrifice what little bit of actual, real joy she can _feel_ this month. ~~And that's assuming she'll feel the same way she did back when she last saw Dad, if it doesn't feel happy like that again what's even the point-~~

_It's fucking unfair,_ she thinks. _I didn't ask to become his fucking part-time therapist. God, not even part-time- Zuko's_ actual _therapist definitely isn't up this late every goddamn night trying to make him feel better._

All things considered, this isn't even one of the worst nights.

Katara feels dizzy. She feels so fucking tired. 

_It's not fair,_ she thinks, _that the only friend he has and the only person who 'cares' about him doesn't actually care half as much as she claims to._

She's just so fucking tired.

_I'm such a monster._

  
  
  
  
  
  


_Zuko 11:30_

_I love you, sis_

_Katara 11:31_

_i love you too_

**Author's Note:**

> me? anonymously venting on AO3 by projecting drastically onto fictional characters because these kinds of thoughts can't really be spoken aloud? it's more likely than you think


End file.
